Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Kisses of Love

I don't generally like to write about romance and love and kisses and things, but I feel like I can make an exception this time. I recently had a conversation with a good girl friend of mine about boys, dating, getting married, Love, and all those sorts of things. It was quite enjoyable and made me remember a little bit about when T and I were first interested in each other as more-than-friends. These days, I think it's hard to balance the societally-pushed, romantic, passionate, feeling-based-gush of the romance in new relationships with the practical, discerned, prayed-about decision to truly be in love with someone, and remain in love with him for the rest of your life. I'm not saying either one of these "sides" of the coin are bad, but I think that they each can be over-emphasized in different situations (and have been). My discussion with my girl friend highlighted this for me. Falling in love cannot be solely based on a decision made in the logical parts of your brain. It must also be made in the heart. To fall in love means to stand on the threshold of new and exciting possibilities (indeed, on the threshold of another self, a person), and decide to cross over, to fall into the new world before you. So, one can be excited and "girly" and passionate and romantic, but she still must remain level-headed. Relationships should be exciting, but they won't be easy. They can certainly be romantic and spontaneous, but they should not lack prayerful discernment and openness to the will of God.
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T often adds "of love" to phrases, people, objects, and names (making them titles). While the original source of the addition is not quite so philosophic :) T argues that he does it because, "Inasmuch as anything exists [that is, God allows it to exist], it is held in God's Love and is, therefore, 'of love.'" So I am his "wifey of love," and we use a "teapot of love" if we serve you tea. But sometimes his addition makes the word more meaningful--like "kisses of love." Kisses should mean something. Depending on the kind of kiss, you should be able to interpret the meaning. A peck on the cheek from a family member conveys one kind of love, but a peck from a friend can mean something different, depending on the friend. Basically, all kisses should convey love in one form or another, they should all be kisses of love. And that's the way all physical affection should be, too--meaningful: holding hands, hugging, catching each other's eyes, smiling, and of course kissing! I remember the giddiness of T's and my first kiss, but I also knew, even then, that he meant he cared for me very much. In our kisses now, the stomach-flip-flop is gone, but the meaning is much, much deeper. Not only does he care for me very much, but he has promised to be with me for the rest of my life. Yes, the giddiness has dwindled with most kisses, but a new kind of excitement has taken over this part of our relationship--the excitement of the known-unknown future. We do not know what lies ahead, but we know for certain we'll be there together.

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