And then one night, as I lay in the comfort of my husband's arms, waiting for sleep to overwhelm my senses, I listened to the quiet in our house. I heard Taylor breathing peacefully, so close to my ear, quickly asleep after a long day of hard work. I thought about our week and all that we accomplished. I thought about our plans for adoption and the many children already in our lives. I thought about the way we live our life now, and about our plans for shaping the future of our marriage and our family.
As I dozed off, I came to realize that I am most content. As much as I long for certain things in my life and in our marriage, I am happy. Incredibly happy. And I am certain, deep down, that I'd never change a thing outside of God's plan for our lives.
It's true that we still have to prayerfully discern what God desires of us--what we must strive for and what we must pass by. But for now, I am at peace waiting for the blessings God has in store for us.
Because after all, I have already been blessed infinitely with the Love of my sweet husband. Any parent (and grandparent) will tell you that children leave the family eventually. My parents did it. I have done it. My children will do it. I don't mean to say that children are "lost" to their parents when they begin their own life, but every child grows up.
Momma always told me your spouse if the only member of your family you ever get to choose ("so choose carefully," I hear her say in the back of my mind). God placed him before me and I have chosen. He is mine forever, to help me to heaven and to see God in all things.
And truthfully, what more can I ask for?